Late night rambling.

You're drunk

I'm sober.

Yet tonight we've met in the middle.

I can't help but wonder if you're sitting there thinking of what regrets you hold.

Every small decision you wish you could take back, in ever aspect and stage of your life.

My curiosity strikes and I want to know if you want to change yourself.

I can picture you sitting there, sucking back your vodka, staring at the screen. Perhaps you are laughing along with others, perhaps you are just staring with blank heavy bagged eyes. Are those eyes green, or are they brown right now? I can picture your room, the mirrors that reflect your corner tucked bed, the basket of laundry, a messy shelving stand of some sort. I shouldn't remember these things, nor do I know why I'm placing them out in the open on here. Maybe I'll just delete this when I'm done typing, when my fingers decide to stop spazzing out over the key board. 

(Might I mention that my "O" button is being a bitch and I have to hit it twice as hard some time multiple times for it to work. Stupid P.O.S notebook.) 

You know awhile ago, if you would have asked me, I would have told you of pain and even grief, but now, I would tell you of calamity and acceptance. It feels nice for once in our knowing of one another to not try. I'm not trying to be better than I am, I'm not trying to keep up with you, I'm not trying to impress, or delight, or sooth, or care. 

I'm simply just at ease with what things are, what lines have been traced, and I'm getting rather cosy on my side of that thick black separation of chalk. I wont try to wash it away, nor will I try to sneak over it. I am pulling up my bean bag chair, some blankets, an endless supply of coffee, and an empty mind. 

You are who you are, I am who I am, there are issues, there are a lot of issues, but I'm okay with it. I'm okay with what I hold against you, it will never dissipate, but I will not let it control me. You're too 'special' to walk away from. I wont be what I was, I wont feel what I felt, but I'll still be around when you need a distraction, or you just need to talk to someone who now trusts you as much as you trust them. 

Sweet Dreams JL.