'I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying.'
-Charles C. Finn

Sunday 3 April 2011

I was wrong.

I ended up going to see Grandpa Bob this weekend, spent all Saturday and today in Edmonton. I was wrong, so wrong. Seeing him, holding him, speaking with him, and listening to him was so... heart breaking. I'm broken hearted for that man, for grandma Carol, for all my unrelated family, I ache for them. 

At one point he looked to grandma and I speaking four earth shattering words; "I can't believe this." then he softly drifted back to an uncontrolled slumber. I saw the strongest woman I have ever known fall to pieces, and as I sat beside her, holding her hand, and pressing soft short kisses to her shoulder, I felt a small bit of myself die.

This is my family, I may have been out of touch for years upon years, but they are mine. 
I love them all so dearly.
I was reminded of how much they all mean to me over the course of two days.



I didn't want to leave, how could I of left?

What am I doing here?


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